I had a 'Molly moment'. I love the movie "Molly"... see here (and I don't care what the other reviewer says, it was a good movie). In it Molly believes that you need to be honest and just scream.
Tonight was my turn. I utterly lost it. Too many calls from Grandma, too many 'sob' stories from my sister, too much pressure... the pressure release valuve ...my mouth, opened and closed 4 times and a lovely scream... nearly high pitched enough to be a shreak. Too bad I hadn't come into contact with this portion of me sooner, I could have been a screamer for some scary movie in Hollywood. I think I missed my calling. It wasn't until the neighbor lady who has 4 unruley kids came outside looking to see if the scream came from one of her children, did I pull back into reality and my responsible mode. I went right outside to tell her it was me, not her children and yes, I was "okay" (however, you'd like to define that, living, breathing works for now).
I love my family. I like my job. I just hate my life at the present.
I will survive, I will go on, He hasn't taken me home yet, so there must be something for me to do here, aside from feeling like I'm going insane.
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too much silence
from a heart that lay oceans away
too many unanswered calls
from a phone that rings on the otherside of the world
too many questions, concerns and worries
not enough faith or trust
lots of love, but is it enough?
seni seviyorum
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