My Beloved

My hubby and I have been having some really good conversations lately.  He amazes me some days, many days lately.  I love him so much.

While we have some unusual hurdles to jump in our marriage, we do manage to keep an honest and deep relationship that is filled with laughter.

I am grateful for my husband.

Every day he shows me his love.  He is my biggest fan. He supports my dreams.  He makes me laugh.

My husband is dedicated to growth and change.

He tells me I have ruined him... his previous asshole self.

I can say loving him has changed me as well. He inspires me to grow and become a better me.  Together we are better.  He has helped me to love myself.  He challenges me and loves me for who I am now and who I am becoming.

We laugh, we cry, we encourage and build up one another.  Our marriage is not perfect, but we love one another and have faith and love in God.

I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine: he feeds his flock among the lilies. ~ Song of Solomon 6:3

Thunderstorms and a baby robin

What wonder-filled day it has been today!  It started out at about 4:15 AM and a beautiful thunderstorm.  Hard driving rain and winds waking me from my slumber.  I truly love thunderstorms, even if they wake me up.  It's knowing the earth is getting a good cleansing and all will be refreshed and renewed once the storm passes.  It seems the grass is always greener and sky a little bluer after a storm.  The scent of rain filling the air, such a lovely thing!

Today was mundane for the most part, filled with laundry, dishes and normal things that need to be done on any given day.

Another miraculous thing I saw today, so sweet and cute and so a voice much spring!  I ventured out to get my mail this afternoon and a sweet baby robin had barely flown from it's perch (nest on my outside light).  Momma Robin wasn't too far away, chirping and telling baby to stay away from the human coming out of the house.  On my way back into the house the baby was trying to run on my sidewalk and went ass over applecart and it was hysterical.  Baby robin wasn't hurt, just had to shake the feathers out a bit and start over. It gave me a giggle and I am blessed to share the beauty of nature.

Hope you found a few small miracles in your day, even in the mundane things.

Goals for 2013

I've never really been good at goals.  Making them kind of... achieving them not so much!

I'm on a new journey in 2013.  It's the year of "me" and I don't mean the selfish kind of me, but the sometimes you neglect yourself long enough you eventually have to pick up the pieces of who you are and focus on putting them back together and finding yourself again.  Or I pretty much think it's finding myself for the first time.

In 2013 I will:

1. Be kind to myself

2. Focus on my healing

3. Enjoy life


Sounds simple enough, right?  Now let's break this down into the nitty gritty of what I mean.


1. Be kind to myself

• Give myself grace when I mess up, be it eating or exercising not as I "should"
• Hey Cindy, remember you're human you make wrong choices and make mistakes remember there is always a new start at the next meal or the next moment
• Breathe
• Give up "should" or "ought to" or "have to"
• Boo hiss those words just make me want to run away and do the opposite or even absolutely nothing
• Do the little things for myself 
• pedicures, nice lotions, small naps on lazy Sunday afternoons

2. Focus on my healing

• Post-operatively it means walk, walk, walk and sip, sip, sip and tracking my protein
• Do NOT stress about how much weight you loose or how fast
• Focus on enjoying the process
• Dig a little deeper into the emotional reasons I eat and don't take care of myself as well as I do others
• Jen
• A Motherless Daughter workbook
• The Courage to Heal

3. Enjoy life

• Beaches of Michigan
• Go more than once or twice this summer/fall and explore new ones
• Utah to visit the Putnam's
• Just rest in the peace and love of your beautiful friends and their adorable children
• Florida to see Chad 
• 20 years is way too long
• See the Atlantic ocean
• Hang out and just be with him
• Gathering and laughing with my friends here in Michigan
• Support group moments
• Lunches or dinners
• Perhaps a 5K walk/run or two ...perhaps
• Enjoy time with friends in Iowa or SC or ?? 
• A Sketch a Day journal

I think this covers it ...and then some!!