Hi, Hi!

Been a few days, wow, time flies!!! The past 9 days have been intersting. I went on my business trip early, Tuesday afternoon to Overland Park, Kansas and got home in the evening on Thursday. With the fact that I accidentally grabbed 2 shirts to workout in, instead of pants and shirt, I didn't get any workouts on Wednesday and Thursday. Friday I took off to recouperate... haha... gotta cut yourself some slack at times.

Saturday was a 25 minute elliptical trip and some leg work. Sunday off. We celebrated my sissy's birthday, which was actually yesterday, Valentine's day. She went up on Monday to spend some time with her honey and got back yesterday. Well this morning, being the sneaky (at least I try sometimes) sister that I am, I took some balloons into her at work. Being a milestone birthday, she can't get by without some embarassment, now can she?!!!!!!

Thus far this week I've done 25 minuts on the elliptical daily and Tuesday I did an upperbody. But boy this waking up at the dead of night is for the birds... okay not the birds, for the moon, that's it. Well soon it's off to bed, got to catch up some.

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missing, wishing, dreaming, scheming and loving from here to there
not more than a hearts beat, when I close my eyes or when you speak
a future to plan, but not in our hands alone
loving, wishing a hug or a simple hand hold

Saturday I did went to the gym and I upped my elliptical to 19 minutes. The experts are right, I not only feel better physically, but emotionally I am also affected.

Sunday was a no-workout day, unless you count shopping. Went to church and then 4 of us gals from work got together and went to a couple of quilt shops that were having superbowl sales. Oh, it was a blast. So much fabric and not enough time, especially when you factor all the other things I do into my daily life.

Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers for winning the Superbowl and a game well played to the Seattle Seahawks. If you make it to the Superbowl, not matter if you win there or not, you're still a winner.

Today: 19 min elliptical

Happy Saturday

It's a happy Saturday, because I live and breathe, have a job and can celebrate the 2 day break from it... called the weekend. It's a bitter cold day today, but the sun is shining brightly. Gone is our 40-some day stretch of warmer than normal temperatures and we are back to normal. Only funny thing, since it was so warm this "normal" feels soooooo much colder than normal. Guess it's all relative to what one is used to. Kind of like in the fall when the temps move into the 50s or 60s everyone says it's freezing, but come spring and those same temperatures are lovely and warm. Humans are wierd creatures.


The postal service never ceases to amaze me. I sent something out today to Turkey and to send it 'economy', which is a 4 to 6 week trip by boat and land it would have cost me more (okay only 40 cents more) than to send it by first class, air. In which he will receive it in 5 to 7 days, providing the Turkish postal system is cooperative. It's supposed to be a *surprise*, but since it's international, I always tell him it's coming, but not what's in it. So it's still fun.


I have felt better this week than I have in a while. I finally got my backside to the gym again after a long (too long) hiatus from it. I must say it's a good thing, although at moments some body parts aren't so agreeable to that. And although the elliptical (or cross-trainer or whatever you wish to call it) is challenging, I like it better than the treadmill for the cardio workout. Not quite so boring. I have a couple of cassettes that I throw into my walkman that I absolutely love!!!!!!!!!!! They keep me motivated. One is a group called 'Divinity', they are awesome, 3 sisters singing about God. They are so real, there is even a salvation prayer on it. The other group, Zoe Girl is great. My only "fear" is that soon I will wear out the tapes and then what will I do to keep motivated on the elliptical?

Tuesday was a humbling experience for me, as sometimes I let pride get in the way of things. I went to the gym location downtown, with my cardkey to get in, all the treadmills were full, the bikes were mostly being used and my cardkey would not work. So I had to go to the main facilities and face one of the managers (co-owner too I believe). To see him after not having been to the gym was almost scary, here he is all buff and in shape and me.. ha! And seeing him also reminded me of why I loved the gym (well one reason), is the encouragement he and the other staff give. They care.

It may not seem like much to some, but for me, not having been to the gym, being out of shape, it's pretty good. I logged 15 minutes on the elliptical both Tuesday and Wednesday and then 17 minutes on it for both Thursday and Friday. Today, I'm going to shoot for 19 and perhaps some weight training. So I gotta fly now and change and get myself there.

It is so hard to believe another month is over. Today the last day of January in this new year. How is it that time goes faster as we age? I know time does not change in that manner, but it so appears to in the depths of experience. It seems like yesterday and an eternity that March 2, 2005 happened, and yet it is but a couple days shy of a year in real time. Guess it's time to get going on the year, to savor each moment, to learn from all and to grow from each, good or bad.
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I heard a song recently that I really like and really fits...

I Will Be Right Here Waiting For You
sung by: Bryan Adams

Oceans apart, day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice, on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
how can we say forever

(chorus)
Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all The times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh can't you see it baby,
You've got me going crazy

(chorus)

I wonder how we can survive, this romance
But in the end if I'm with you, I'll take the chance

Oh you can't see it baby
You've got me going crazy

(chorus)

I found the lyrics here.
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It fits because I am so missing a part of me and this is all I can do right now, wait. Wait until all the 'ducks are in a row' and then action, I pray will follow the words of the place that beats within.

Winter Wool...

I'm so excited. I got my wool from the 'winter wool swap' over at Crochetville. My swap partner got me some very beautiful yarn from over at knitpicks. I got 12 skeins, 4 of each cherry blossom, blueberry and cranberry. The color are so rich and absolutely gorgeous!!! Now it's a what to do???????????

Thank you Juli!!!!

In memory of Garry

A little bit earlier tonight I found out that my friend who was in the accident last month, went home to the Lord last night. Having a friend die is a mixture of joy and sorrow, especially Garry. Garry is in the best place there ever could be, in God's presence. Garry was such a Godly man. He reflected God so very much. What Garry has gained in going Home, we have lost here.

Garry always had a smile on his face, joy in his heart and a joke or several that easily rolled off his tongue. Even while he when he endured twenty some years on dialysis waiting for a kidney and then even more joy and so much thanks when he received one on Christmas eve a few years back.

I met Garry in the drama troupe at church. I can just imagine Garry now, in the presence of God and he's probably got some joke or mime he's performing. God blessed Garry with a lot of talent and a huge heart. The drama troupe will not be the same without him, for he truly blessed me, he truly blessed us all. And like the 'brother' in Christ that he was to me, he teased me so much... I will miss that too.

God will have to find a way to heal the hurt that is there from the loss, for no one could replace. I wouldn't even want that.

Okay Garry, I'll see you in a 'little while' behave will ya!

A project for myself

As any one who has ever done artwork or hand work of some kind knows, something for yourself is always last on the list of projects to do, let alone complete. This is a project I decided to do for me, take it 6 months or 6 years to complete (*gasp* I hope not).

I am working on it as a 'crochet-along' at Crochetville.org. The pattern is called "Scripture Afghan - 24 pattern stitches inspired by the Bible". I've only gotten about 9.5 squares done (of my 121 needed to fit my bed). Below is just a sampling of those squares (i.e. the ones I could get pics of so far).

Block 1 - Honeycomb

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healthy to the bones." Proverbs 16:24


Block 2 - Crosses

"The God of our fathers raised up Jesus, whom you had put to death by hanging Him on a cross." Acts 5:30


Block 15 - Flame

"And after forty years had passed, an angel appeared to him in the wilderness of Mount Sinai, in the flame of a burning thorn bush." Acts 7:30


Block 22 - Angel

"For He will give His angels charge conserning you, to guard you in all your ways." Psalm 91:11


A couple of the blocks were a slight challenge, like #5, the star stitch. Having never done it, it got the best of me for a few half blocks and half block rip-outs.

My goal is to get this afghan whipped by the end of 2006. It may seem a long time to get this done, but that's just to think as if this were all I do for my crochet/knitting/craft work. Let's not forget the 2 shawls, granny square a month (actually 2) and then any babies born, birthdays that need presents and holidays that will come up. Oh and then warm weather, which always makes me step aside the larger projects and any projects at times for the warmer weather.

Imagine walking into a home and seeing this guy. He's just a snarling at you, as if at any moment he would chase you and have you for dinner. However, Ernie is dead and has been mounted (psssst... those are false teeth).

Of course it wouldn't be such a strange sight if I said it was also a taxidermist shop, now would it. Ernie is a black bear that was shot and mounted by mom's boyfriend. He has become a member of the family, he wears hats, santa hats and even once after a hawaiian themed wedding he wore a lei for a while. Infact to take this picture, I had to remove a Christmas ornament that was dangling from his lower right tooth. I just didn't think he would be taken seriously with a santa hanging there.

There is no rhyme or reason as to why I am introducing Ernie here, other than I wanted to test my new digital camera and Ernie was a captive audience you might say.

And now that I have a digital camera, I suspect I will be posting more pictures.... especially to share some of my crafting, mostly crochet at this time.

Happy 2006!!!

Another year has come and gone. 2005 seems like it only started a couple of days ago. I find that as I get older the time goes by so much more quickly.

Looking back, 2005 was quite the year.

There are big memories and little memories and the normal drudges of life. I'd have to say the best and the hardest are pretty intertwined. The best of 2005 was in late February, when I took my first international flight and met face to face the man I love (you can see part of his handsome face next to me in the little pic to the right). The trip was fast and wonderful. The hardest part of 2005 has been the months following my trip to my love, being the thousands of miles apart in every way but in my heart.

I am thankful for all things in 2005, the joys and the trials. Both help to make life real and life worth so much.

I look forward to 2006. My hearts prayer is to be united with my love. My hope is that 2006 will be exactly as it should be and only God knows that. For I know in my heart that joy or sorrow, sickness or health, pain or comfort, I am truly blessed. I have love in my heart and that love, God's love, can see me through anything.

I pray that 2006 treats all my family and my friends wonderfully, with more joy than sorrow, more love than hate and more health than sickness.

Merry Christmas!

Today is a day to celebrate God's love. A day of love, of hope, of peace, of joy and life. A day to give thanks for the greatest gift one could ever receive, Jesus. A day to be thankful for the blessings around us: mom's slow and steady healing from surgery; sissy's nuttiness, generosity and love; granny; Louie; my Emin; warm clothes to wear; a warm place to sleep; food to eat; health; and the ability to love.

It seems that I just can't get over love. It keeps coming up. Perhaps because God is trying to work more love into me, so I can show His love to others. It overwhelms me when I take a moment and think about God's love. The Love He sent this day, Jesus.

To all who may happen across this place, may love fill you to over flowing... and keep on growing in you and your life.

The kids..

Mom got her pictures developed so now I have a picture of the kids. They are so sweet. Since these photos they have grown a lot. Little Greg is the brown, black and white (on the left) and little Louie is the black and white. They seem to be a bit camera shy, but they sure love the attention and affection, all they can get.

About a week or so ago, my friend helped me out with giving me a ride back from mom's after dropping her car back off to her. My friend got to meet these two characters, live and in person. They could just about win any one's heart.

I asked, and come this spring it should be 'babyland' out at mom and Louie's place. Lots and lots of babies... if you try to find me and can't, come this spring, now you know where I'm at. Just loving on the kids.

I just found out tonight that a friend of mine and a fellow drama troupe (our church's troupe) member was in an accident the other night. Snow, ice and nasty winter weather caused him to loose control and hit a semi-truck (18 wheeler) head on. He's hurt pretty bad and in intesive care. His daughter was just bumped and bruised and delivered a healthy baby last night.

It kinda reminds me of the fraility of the human condition.

It also reminds me of how BIG God is.

God made the stars and the sand of the earth. He made every cell within the human body. He knows how many hairs are on our heads, no need to count, He knows. God knows our every action, our every thought and feeling.... and God knows what He has planned for this friend. With feverent prayer and all the love we can give, we are all believing and thanking God for his healing. A healing that has been paid for by precious blood. However, if God should see fit to take my friend home, then God knows why and I shall not question. It will be loss for those alive, but gain for Garry.

A tree with ornaments, a vision of love?

How could a tree, whether fake or real, be a vision of love? A Christmas tree, to me, is not just some tradition, some ritual nor is it detached from me, meant only for visual beauty and enjoyment. It is in the memories held there and the meaning put into it.

My tree is old, passed down from my sister, to mom, and then to me... it sits crooked and it's branches are bent all funny. The tree is not thick and full like the new trees, it has many holes and gaps. It even has some of the icicle tinsle on it, left from the years growing up where it was a 'must' and 'put on one at a time, don't clump it'.

The funnest part about putting up my Christmas tree is reminiscing over what the tree represents to me, the many memories and the many ornaments. You could say, I almost 'collect' ornaments, some are as new as this year and some nearly as old as I am or perhaps even older, as they were collected by mom. Each year I like to look at the special ornaments; ornaments that friends and family have made and given; ornaments from my 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Erickson; a party hat from discipleship class; ornaments from Bluebirds or made at Grandma's house, ornaments meant to represent things, such as the year I played basketball or the teddy bear my sissy got for me when I was sick.

The best ornaments of all, are those made to point our way to the true Light of Christmas, Jesus; a star which guided the wisemen to the Christ child... the nativity or perhaps the cross, no matter how ornate, to remind us of Jesus love for us.

A Christmas tree is just a tree, with lights and pretty ornaments. It may be the center focus of a room, but it truly isn't the center of Christmas. For me, it is a vision of love.

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Happy 84th Grandma!

babies.... kids...

Babies are wonderful, no matter if they are the human or the four legged kind. Baby goats, kids, are sweet. Call me crazy if you must, but hold a baby goat in your arms, look into their sweet face and I'm sure you'll love them too. Unless of course you're not an animal person. I really don't consider myself too much of an animal person, but the first baby goat, the first kid, in my arms and I was just "in love". To watch them hop and play is just so much fun. We have two new "babies" in the family, little Louie and little Greg. Their personality so closely matches their namesake's. In just the two days I got to pet and play and feed them, they've changed, grown and gotten more fun... and they have the sweetest faces.

Snow, snow and more snow...

..but today there is sun!

And finally it would appear the snow plows are out and about making the roads a tad bit easier to get around on.

It is so beautiful, the fresh snow covering the ground, before it gets muddied and mucked up. The last couple of snows we have had, have been shimmery and light weight. The hard to make a snowball kind of snow, but fun to play in kind.

Now if only my someone could more easily share the snow with me. Perfect weather to play in the snow, come in and drink hot chocolate sitting by the fire... oh, wait I don't have a fireplace... sitting by the incense stick... doesn't sound as good that way.

Guess it's about time to shovel that massive snow-plowed drift from the end of the drive way.

love...

Love endures long and is patient and kind; Love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtly. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes not account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never faids out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

And so faith, hope, love abide [faith - conviction and believe respecting man's relation to God and devine things; hope - joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love - true affection for God and man, growing out of God's love for and in us], these three; but the greatest of these is love.

- 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 and 13


It amazes me how little I seem to love, the kind of love described above, when I read these words. I fall short of this kind of love more days than I ever could match it. I can only pray and seek God to show me how to love as He made love to be. I can only praise God for His imense love and extraordinary grace. I am thankful that He has shown me love, shown me how to love, graced me with amazing family and friends to love and even for the opportunities He allows to strengthen and grow my love for all mankind.

so many, so little and not enough

Christmas is fast approaching....

It is so easy to get caught up in Christmas as most people see it... Christmas trees, presents, food, family, parties... too much of them all! Each year it seems harder and harder to keep the right focus, Christ is the reason for Christmas. God's love for all mankind. There are those who don't believe that December 25th is the actual birth date of Jesus. To me it matters not all that much, it has become the traditional date for the celebration. That's the point, that's what matters, the celebration of the best gift that could have ever been given.... Jesus into this world. Happy Birthday Jesus!

I find myself getting caught up in the making of my presents. I love to make my gifts and each year most of my family get something hand made. It always seems that there are so many projects, so little time and not enough hands to get them done, but some how I manage to get them all done... even if it means wrapping an empty box and finishing up the project in front of the recipent. :) That's so much fun.

This year as I shopped the "traditional" first big shopping day of the season. I was looking for wrapping paper. I always try to find something with a bit of a Christian focus, such as the nativity. The two stores I looked in, neither one had any, not one roll that wasn't santa or snowmen or some cutsie holiday (note, not Christmas) theme, not even the one store that was founded on Christian principles, my favorite hobby and craft store. I was disappointed, but I will not give up, it is early yet.

It is my deepest hope that this year, although fingers and hands may be flying to comnplete all the crochting, knitting and stitching, I hope that I remember the right focus of Christmas.

winter wonderland?

What a way to start the day, beautiful snow every where... not much, just enough to make all things white. The not so pretty part of starting morning, all dressed ready for work and just need to start and warm up the car... ahhhh... but alas the car doors will not unlock and neither will they open, once I finally managed to get them unlocked. Frozen shut. Have you ever done a side body slam to a car before? Believe me, the car wins. Have you ever used a hammer on a car before? Well, a hammer blunted with a towel to use as what would be a "rubber mallot". 40 minutes later and I finally was able to get one door open.

Gotta love winter. :oP Wait, technically winter's not starting for 22 more days. I like the white stuff more than I dislike it, I just am not fond of moments like this a.m.


On another note, I got a letter back today, returned to me and I'm not sure why. Address is right to my knowledge, postage, more than enough... so why return a month later to me. Seems like postal systems all over the world are the same: they don't make much sense. Perhaps one day in my dreams I'll figure this out.... or else it'll just get chalked up to one the great unsolved mysteries of the universe.

I feel like writing, although I am not sure what.

It was a "typical" day at work: phones ringing like crazy, people missing due to post-holiday vacation days, and work above the eyebrows!

Why is it that words can do so much?

Words can hurt, they can frustrate, they can bring joy and sorrow. Words can make you smile or bring tears to your eyes. They can become a pressure valve that allows steam to blow. Words can express love, desire and passion. Words can express hate, anger, fear, sadness. And for all that words can do and express, the lack of words can do even more so. Silence can be deafening, whether in lack of written or lack of spoken. Words can mean things unintended by the writer, for each person brings to the reading a reflection of them. The reader's emotions, knowledge and personal experiences can color their meaning. Words are necessary.



The distance too far and the words too few

God-moments

It amazes me how a little stop at the healthmart section of the local grocery store can turn into one of those moments that you know was set up by God. Her name is Artha, "like Martha, without the M" she told me. I bet we stood in the heathmart section for half an hour just talking, talking about what we are learning of organic and health food, of what we still need to learn and of what God has done. A kindred spirit in God. Ms. Artha touched my heart and blessed me and I thank God for His hand in the middle of it all. It was hard to part ways. We said if do not meet again now, we will again... "when we've been there 10,000 years..."

A most perfect way to start this Advent season.

The candle of hope was light today. A reminder of God's hope for the world: Jesus. A reminder to hope.